What if This is It?

There’s this strange tension I keep running into.

In one light, it all makes perfect sense.
This is the awakening.
This is the unfolding.
This is the journey.

But in another light, I have no idea how to actually live in a way where that’s true.

I don’t know how to drink my morning coffee like it matters.
Or give a lesson like it’s holy ground.
Or sit with my own ache and not try to skip ahead.

Because most of us were taught that whatever’s happening now…
is just commentary.
A warm-up act.
A means to something else.
A way to the thing—but not the thing itself.

But what if it is?

What if the question that keeps bubbling up
or the way I freeze when I’m overwhelmed
or the email I never replied to
or the silence that stretches a little too long—

What if this is it?

What if there’s nothing more spiritual coming?
No clearer answer.
No deeper insight.
No mountaintop moment to make it all click.

Just me. Here.
Fumbling through today,
with all of my questions, my longing, my doubt…

and the sacred possibility
that this ordinary moment
was never ordinary at all.